Welcome to this issue of Stumped by Nature, where we notice nature lurking just beyond our screens, curate a list of outside-y events in Austin, and build community with other folks in the thick of the startup ecosystem.
In this week’s issue:
🧜♀️ A modern misogi
🌤️ Upcoming outdoors events
Let’s dig in!
-Nicole
PS. ATX Outsiders is our community where people get to know each other IRL outside each month. Join us!
Upcoming events:
Monday, August 10: Austin Reading Club: Crack the spine of that physical book
Sunday, August 30: Reverse Brain Rot: We read. We write.
EVENT RECAP
No photos from our most recent Reverse Brain Rots because I went hard on screen free time, but imagine a bunch of folks reading/writing, a squirrel chucking down pecans, and a sprinkler system intermittently popping up to cool us all off. You’ll just have to see it in person next time.
Purple Martin Party. Y’all. We saw a lot of birds + trees quaking under the weight of them. Awe all around.
1. The crowd!
2. A slice of our group now knows the very specific, cumulative smell of 100,000+ birds pooping in the same spot for a couple weeks.
NATURE SPOTLIGHT
Some experiences don’t fully metabolize until you put language to them.
And so we continue our Misogi Series.
Misogi: an intentional natural-based quest, often involving water, to cleanse the quotidian filth to reveal what’s pure underneath, and come back to society recalibrated.
Today we have the treat of Erin Warner.
Akafuku Mochi and roasted tea, near the Isuzu River
Here’s Erin’s experience, in her words:
What was happening in your life when the misogi emerged? Set the scene with context.
It was my 2nd trip to Japan. In my late 40s. Fighting my way out of mid-life malaise. Fully embraced self-help work to a degree that my past self would have thought was so cringe. Embraced it because it was working for me. In parallel with therapy!
With my new sense of agency in my life, I had designed my dream trip. I was staying at a hot springs resort near a town famous for cultivated pearls. There was a time when pearls could be obtained only by the luck of finding an oyster with a pearl inside. But about 100 years ago, a Japanese man from this town developed a process for cultivating pearls by implanting the seed into oysters and nurturing them until they can be harvested. Thanks to him, pearls became much more accessible, so much that they could be ground into a fine powder and used in skin care products. Data on efficacy is limited, but the feeling of luxury is real. In our onsen, this fine pearl powder was in the hot spring water itself, creating a pink opalescent shimmer in both the water and on one’s skin after bathing. I had chosen this hot spring for exactly this reason. After two daytime soaks, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t see the pink shimmer that I had anticipated. Now, it was night, and finally I could see the presence of the pearl powder in the water and I was delighted.
Oyster beds in the bay for pearl cultivation
What did this quest involve, practically?
The quest is to create a life I love. This involved a lot of shadow work. Stop asking for permission. Stop waiting for someone to do it for me. Stop seeking approval. Stop putting myself last. Start using my voice. Start letting myself be seen. Start validating my needs, desires, and preferences. Start making choices based on my values and my dreams.
One of my initiations was sitting at a table where I wanted to sit, while previously I would tried to read everyone else’s minds and sit in the seat I estimated to be the least desirable to the others. Does this sound small? It felt to me like jumping off a cliff. I was so afraid of rejection and abandonment - perhaps not consciously but it shaped my actions for decades - if I didn’t cater to everyone else’s preferences. So I took the leap, seated myself, and proceeded to observe that not only did no one get upset, I swear no one even noticed.
Ramen from “Ramen Alley” in the basement of Tokyo Station
Why this, and not something else?
I had no other choice. People pleasing and perfectionism got me pretty far, and then they stalled. I doubled down, because they were the only skills I knew and they had worked so well for so long. But doubling down led to exhaustion, frustration, and numbness. Like a classic hero’s journey, I was lost in the wilderness. Deep in the underworld. I’m blessed with an innate optimism and resourcefulness. When I realized that my patterns led to a dead end, I resolved to forge a new path for myself. This led me to discover self-love, which led to empowerment, which led me to a completely new philosophy of life that now I practice and share with others.
What surprised you while you were in it?
What surprised me is that moving away from people pleasing and perfectionism didn’t have the consequences that I feared. I thought people liked me because of how I catered to them. I feared that if I filled my own cup, I would lose people in my life. It turns out, most people in my life were happy to see me step into self-love because they saw more vibrant, more joyful, more alive. And I was also surprised that if someone wasn’t happy for me, I could live with that. I no longer needed absolutely everyone to like me and approve of me.
What physical details still linger?
I sleep better now. I don’t ruminate. If I feel an interaction didn’t go well, I ask myself, was I in alignment with my values? If so, then I’m at peace. If not, I take responsibility for initiating repair with that person. And even if I was in alignment with my values, I have lots of capacity for empathy and softness that means I can find connection with others with different values. All of this to say, I don’t stay awake at night anymore, beating myself up for things I said or did. I know where I stand with myself and I know what to do when I miss the mark. Anyone who has suffered from rumination-induced insomnia may understand how truly liberating and life changing this is!
What role did place play? Would this have been different somewhere else?
I was in an onsen in Japan, outdoors, It was raining and I had this moment of transcendence, connecting with the water in all its forms – in the pool itself, in the steam that was rising from it, in the rain that was falling, in the peninsula that was surrounding the land that I was on, in the sea, and in my body itself.
I felt this amazing unity and awe. I was also in awe of my own journey and all the self-love and empowerment and work and healing that got me to be in that onsen that night. It was a dream peak experience for me that I created by becoming an active co-creator in my life instead of just like a passenger.
That feeling moved me to stand up in the rain, nude. There was no one else in the pool, and I stood, spread my arms wide, and expressed out loud gratitude to the universe, to my past self, to my present self for appreciating it. And it's just a really important moment and part of my story. An emblem of what self-love makes possible - creating reality that was once only a dream. And what makes self-love possible - presence, awareness, gratitude, courage, intentionality.
What didn’t change, despite all the effort?
Deeply ingrained patterns and habits. It’s still really easy to notice myself not speaking up, seeking validation and approval, wearing a mask. In real ways, this is still my default way of moving through the world. The practice is to consciously make the more self-loving and empowered choice every day.
Following centuries of visitors in the ritual of purifying in the Isuzu before entering the shrine. The goal: rinse away the daily toil to reveal a pure state of being.
What felt more true after?
Self-love is the foundation that allows me to show up authentically in my life, to set healthy boundaries, to pursue my dreams without apology, to live my purpose in alliance with my higher self, and to create lasting happiness from within.
Here is my definition of self love:
My unique existence is an improbable miracle.
That means my unique expression is worthy of existing.
My voice is worthy of expressing fully.
My dreams are worthy of pursuing fully.
I am the custodian of this miracle. Who am I with my ego and my fears and my pride, to get in the way of all that?
Floating stage on Magatama Pond near the Outer Ise Shrine, used for ceremonies and sacred performances
What’s one thought you keep coming back to from the experience?
I created a new operating system for my life, based on self-love.
Bringing this to life is a 2-step process. Integration and Activation.
I Create My Own Reality.
I Treat Myself As Well As I Treat Others.
I Speak Out Loud My Needs, Desires, and Preferences.
I speak and uphold my boundaries without attachment to the response.
I behave in accordance with my values. How other people feel about that is not my responsibility.
I say yes to my pleasure.
I trust my inner knowing.
What’s a detail/mindset/thought/outcome that you’d like to share that hasn’t come up yet?
Something that initially puzzled me, was what does self-love actually mean, and how will I recognize it?
I needed something concrete. The signals I mapped for the early phases of this journey were: I will know I love myself when I prioritize my needs and desires, my inner monologue is loving, I love being seen, I am fully present when doing hard things for myself, and I no longer seek or cling to validation.
Also, I now believe that self-love is one of the most practical things you can do. Inner self-love shows up in the external world as empowerment. And empowerment is how we make things happen, to move closer and closer to the life of our dreams.
How can readers learn more about your work/support you?
Newsletter: erinwarner.beehiiv.com
Web: erinwarner.net
IG: headandheartafterparty
LinkedIn: erinwarner/catalyst
Ise Udon, the Ise’s signature noodle dish
Hungry for more misogi stories? Voilà.
Have a misogi-like tale or want to nominate someone’s quest? Let’s chat.
UPCOMING EVENTS
🗓️ August 8: The Board Walks: float between interesting conversations
🗓️ August 8: ATX Writing Club- Free Edition: One year ago, sitting in a courtyard with 200+ writers at this event, I decided on a nature newsletter as the focus of my writing practice. I’m entirely biased with adoration for this community, but this event could be life-changing for you too.
🗓️ August 8: Guided Garden Tour: meet at the flag pole, geek out over plants
🗓️ August 8: Second Saturdays Are for Families: one part community quilt-making, one part snail mail letter writing
🗓️ August 8: Kayak Trash Cleanup: purposeful water time
🗓️ August 8: Art in Nature at Ponciana Park: big potential for leaf art
🗓️ August 8: Lens on Nature: A Nature Preserve Photo Walk: think of it as a camera roll scavenger hunt
🗓️ August 9: Virtual Gardening for Wildlife Series: from your couch, for the birds
🗓️ August 10: Austin Reading Club: I’m hosting. Get those pages into your brain.
🗓️ August 11: Late at the Lake: see what the creatives are up to on a weeknight
🗓️ August 11: Hill Climbers Tuesday Ride: bike with founder buddies
🗓️ August 12: Offshore Austin: be a midweek boat person
🗓️ August 12: Seed Gathering and sorting
🗓️ Through August 15: Singin’ in the Rain at Zilker Hillside Theater
🗓️ August 30: Reverse Brain Rot: Read for an hour, write for an hour, thank yourself after
LOCAL FARMERS' MARKETS
👩🌾 Arboretum Food & Artisan Market Saturdays 11am-3pm
👩🌾 Barton Creek Farmers Market Saturdays 9am-1pm
👩🌾 Lakeline Farmers Market Saturdays 9am-1pm
👩🌾 SFC Farmers' Market Downtown Saturdays 9am-1pm
👩🌾 SFC Farmers' Market Sunset Valley Saturdays 9am-1pm
👩🌾 Texas Farmers' Market at Bell Saturdays 9am-1pm
👩🌾 Texas Farmers' Market at Mueller Sundays 10am-2pm
That’s all for this week!
In the meantime, I hope you splash around at your growth edge.
-Nicole
OPTIONAL SIDE QUESTS
🪵 Need to metabolize something? I help people think and write. Let’s chat.
🪵 Are you looking for a community of people in the startup ecosystem who go outside together? I’ve got you.
🪵 Speaking of, I chatted about local community building on this thing called a podcast
🪵 Are you sitting on a misogi-esque story? Spill.
🪵 Follow my calendar to know when we’re rallying.
🪵 I also write essays: this one is about witnessing a bison harvest.
🪵 Is this newsletter not your vibe? Forward it to your enemies to make them suffer too.
💰It’s safe to assume there are affiliate links, and I’ll monetarily benefit from any purchases you make. Hooray, capitalism! So far, this newsletter has generated $4.48 of cold hard cash. 💸